The other night I sat down with a few friends and watched Casablanca.

It had been a few years since I had seen the film. I had just picked it up on Amazon in order to get free shipping on Princess Mononoke – $9.99 to save $6.99 in shipping. It’s a principle thing.

Of course it didn’t disappoint. However, after the credits rolled and I had left my friends I got to thinking about how the film ends and the way that ending stands in sharp contrast to virtually every contemporary romantic film we see released.

You see, at the end of Casablanca, the guy and the girl don’t end up together (yes, spoiled. you deserve it if you haven’t seen the movie). Instead the girl (Ingrid Begman) leaves with her husband and the guy (Humphrey Bogart) walks away through puddles on an airstrip. This is shocking for the audience – especially today’s audience. We expect the stars of the film to indulge in their “true love” and run away together; husbands, wives, and various commitments of all kinds be damned. That’s what love is about isn’t it? The gratification of impulse and feeling – the hollywood path to happiness.

That leads us to my title, which I’m sure is creating all kinds of questions. Certainly chick flicks and porn aren’t comparable in any way – porn is designed for illicit and graphic physical indulgence while chick flicks are supposed to give us warm fuzzies and end with long kisses in front of sunsets that put tears in our eyes and urge sighs from our souls (although I’m sure there are some who insist it’s the other way around). How dare I compare something so good to something so gross and morally decrepit?

Honestly, this theory began as a joke. Some guys and I had been talking about the unrealistic emotional and romantic expectations we feel many girls place on relationships. As the conversation progressed we began to discuss how these expectations are idealized (even immortalized) in film, particularly in stock romantic comedies with over-used plot lines whose revenue comes from emotion-junkie females and their reluctant boyfriends/husbands. My mind drew odd connections which copulated with the humor in the room which conceived and soon birthed my theory: chick flicks are porn for girls. I said it out loud. Everyone laughed.

Then I thought about it (I seem to do most of my thinking after the fact – not always best). When you compare what is gleaned from both mediums by their target audiences and take a look at what results, there are striking similarities.

Let me explain.

Porn is an entertainment medium severely lacking in artistic integrity generally intended for males to indulge their out-of-control physical lusts. It creates the intense feelings of sex without the added complications of a relationship. It is the product of a society that replaces integrity and morals with immediate gratification that bears (seemingly) none of the consequences. But we find that this selfish gratification soon becomes an addiction, and creates unrealistic expectations of sexual health and competence, which often results in broken relationships (even marriages).

Chick flicks are also an entertainment medium generally lacking in artistic integrity (recycled plots, poor scriptwriting and acting) intended to create the intense emotions of being in love and indulge emotional lust when a relationship is not available or one that is fails to supply such feeling. They, also, are the product of a society that idealizes immediate gratification (we rarely see the hard work required for a relationship to work – just the good stuff), and minimize harm to others. The intense romantic feelings created, in conjuction with “perfect” male and female leads, create unrealistic romantic expectations for the target audience. If a relationship fails to look like the romances of film, if the all-too-familiar feelings cease, the relationship must not be “right.”

Now I am not suggesting that romantic comedies are as morally objectionable as pornography. That is an assertion I am not prepared to make, and I  am far from saying that we should not watch them. I am just pointing out similarities between the two forms of “entertainment.” Both porn and romance films let people indulge in desires for a short amount of time, and over indulgence (for porn: any indulgence) leads to unrealistic expectations within relationships.

I’m done. I’m sure I have more to say, but I’ll leave it at this. Both genders need to be in constant discussion with each other about these issues and the problems they can create within relationships.

That’s all for now. Maybe more later.

Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.